I recently finished reading, "Text Me When You Get Home," by Kayleen Schaefer, about the true LOVE story between best friends. It came at the most perfect time when I was missing my dear friend Sydney's infectious motivation and constant support that she provided when I was living in Naples. and continues to provide even though miles are between us. Despite her and I texting pretty much every hour, there is something that is absent when you don't spend time with a friend in the flesh.
One of the passages struck a particular heartstring and I immediately messaged her husband asking if he could surprise her with a flight to NY. BALLSY. They are in the process of opening up their own business in SWFL so I knew that come Fall she would be tied there. Luckily he was all for it and she is coming to visit this weekend! MY JOY CANNOT BE CONTAINED.
While I'm still friends with my high school besties, and I have my beloved Sally and Meach, in Upstate NY and South Carolina respectively, the connection I have with Sydney was unlike any other friendship. Not to say I value it over the others, all of my women friends are SO very, very important to me, but with Sydney it felt like a first sisterhood, maybe because we bonded when I was older.
Kayleen articulates so well the complexities of womanhood and how sometimes men, or partners, just don't get it, which isn't a bad thing! However, with your female friends theres that underlying all-to-familiar knowing of what you're experiencing. The appreciation of a female bond is often times, unintentionally undervalued, but we know deep down it's the greatest of all soul-ties. She also expresses how a true friendship can take a lot of pressure off a spouse, because there are some issues meant for friends and friends only. I agree with this wholeheartedly as I get older. I don't want my spouse to be my best friend, I have them already. While yes, I cannot wait to build a strong foundation to grow old on, there are some things I will always go to my girlfriends for, rather then my partner.
From high school to grad school, my first job to my current job, there were times I went first to my friends over my partners along the way. They know the deepest parts of me that, especially in the beginning of a relationship, men just would never understand. Also, I'm not sure if I want them to understand?
From family problems, to unbearable bosses, weight and body image and even dealing with other female friends, Sydney offers the listening ear that doesn't try to solve or fix. She isn't a know it all, or a one-upper, or defensive. Since she has most likely been in similar situations, as a woman she full relates and therefore any judgment is absolved. She puts me in my place when I'm being dramatic, and knows just the amount of comfort I need. She doesn't try to change me and she doesn't make me feel less than when my mind runs wild. I only hope I offer the same to her.
We have so many fun plans this weekend and I couldn't be more excited. As I get older, having done the solo travel and tried out the "do it alone," mentality, i realize I don't want to, nor do I need to. This doesn't make me dependent or needy, this shows I have wonderful support that I can lean on, and have fun with, at any time.
A quote from the book reads, "You don't climb the mountain alone, because you get to the top and it's not fun. I'd rather climb the mountain with my girlfriends, and get to the top and have a party."
Every female should read this book, it's so amazing. Thank you to Gabrielle for suggesting it! Have a lovely week everyone, get ready for a shit ton of insta photos of Syd and I this weekend!!! XO
