Note, I did not write, "dating requires miracles." I know this title seems hilarious, because dating these days we are led to believe you do need a miracle, but that's not what I mean. I don't mean for this to sound negative at all, in fact, this post is simply my interpretation of what dating is like when we apply ideas from the work book, "A Course In Miracles," or Marianne Williamson's words regarding love and letting go.
I just finished, "Letting Go & Becoming," by Marianne Williamson, and please, humans READ IT. It's a short read, only 4 hours on Audible. This book fell into my lap after a recent cry fest because I'm in the throes of releasing my grip on something that I don't even care to write how long I've been holding onto.
The tears lasted all night, but I woke up the following morning ready to move forward. I kept repeating, "attachment to the issue causes suffering, not the issue itself. True love doesn't hurt, but your attachment to what you think it is, does." Literally when I felt the pang in my stomach that I was going to cry again, I repeated silently, "this feeling is making me more human, this too shall pass."
Anyway, then I read this book, and I hope I can give it justice because there are so many wonderful quotes sprinkled in that are crucial when it comes to entering into relationships with people. Any kind of relationship.
The first concept I'd like to tease out is "surrender," or allowing spirit/god/universe take the reigns rather then forcing situations to happen. Marianne's words that helped to practice this were funny, she said, "do you wish him peace every morning? Or do you wish he would call? Do you hope he has a wonderful day? Or do you hope he only sleeps with you and no one else?" It's comical because we've all been there, thinking in those ways that aren't serving the relationship as a whole. She quotes, "When we surrender to God, we let go of our attachment to how things happen on the outside, and we become more concerned with what happens on the inside." God is used loosely, but whatever your higher belief may be.
Unfortunately we have no control, ugh I know, buzzkill. But from faith, we can start to move around this world in a more peaceful way, knowing that what's meant for us will come, what's not won't. It's such an annoyingly simple concept, but it's so crucial to un-break your own heart.
Secondly, "rejection is protection." BLAH. The Ego hates rejection, it spirals out of control to the place of no return. Constantly criticizing or judging ourselves for not being perfect. That's small thinking, that's not serving you, but we've been so conditioned to go there. It's not your fault. I promise. So, how can we shift our thoughts? Marianne believes that when we are rejected from a job/man/etc it's God's way of protecting us. Those things are not meant for us, we are meant for something bigger. But we attached, because we think that we know better that what's above, that we can't possibly go on without them. That if we change, or become more of a round peg, rather than a square peg, we'll fit into that round hole. How freeing to think, that when we are rejected, it's because Spirit has our best interest at hand.
Lastly, everything is a CALL TO LOVE MORE. We often enter into relationships expecting this, or that, and when someone doesn't meet those, often not communicated needs or expectations, we are let down. We curse them out, call them names, blame their mother, BUT Marianne states so very clearly that when there is darkness in our own hearts we see darkness in others. If we can flip that, and just see that mistreatment from others is just a call for more love, we can move from the light within us, and give them the space to heal too. It's not the partner that needs to change, but the darkness in our own hearts that needs to be addressed. Darkness doesn't get rid of darkness, more light does. And light within us is what's natural. Moving from the light in your heart looks a lot like forgiveness, surrender, giving space and exercising boundaries.
It's truly beautiful when you can try to apply these miracle concepts. It feels better for you, for everyone around you, the body physically lightens. And, if you're in the same room with the person you love unconditionally but isn't meant to be in your life right now, you can truly appreciate them for the valuable lessons they have gifted you, or their gift of allowing you to recognize and heal your own wounds. My emotional pain around this one particular situation always surfaces physically around my Rhomboid Major and my Serratus Posterior on my left side. Conveniently right where the back side of my heart is. The back of my heart, the past. Whenever I am sad, this place aches, my chatturangas and up dogs feel lopsided and it's a constant reminder of my emotions. I could dwell there, but when I do it hurts more, the second I shift my perception to that of love, forgiveness, knowing that we are connected always even if it's not in the physical way, it lifts. I was granted the opportunity this weekend to truly release. With the New Moon and a conversation that opened my eyes and allowed me to truly let go. I know I'll be sad from time to time, but it's more lovely than anything else because I left no trace of my existence there. No screaming, no crying or yelling. Just a gentle, loving exit.
Please read this book. Please work to recognize ego thoughts vs. soul thoughts. You are not a victim, life is not unfair. You co-create your reality and everything that is happening to you is for YOUR HIGHEST GOOD. With all my love, LP.
