I know, I know, it's the 2nd, but since the first fell on WCW I'm taking today to post about my feelings regarding a new month ahead!
Bone Thugs had it right singing to us all to, "wake up, it's the first of tha month." That's what I'm choosing to do. WAKE UP. I know I'm not the only one who can agree that we lost a whole entire month of life because of Hurricane Irma. Between preparation, evacuation, waiting, reviving, returning, normalizing, it was a month of exhaustion and HIGH emotional chaos, at least for me. Not knowing what would happen to the town I live in, my places of employment, my friends that didn't evacuate, it was high, high anxiety.
Coming back I vowed to give myself one month to settle back into routine being as kind as I could to myself. The first two weeks I barely practiced yoga, I started at Burn Bootcamp, and then when i felt ready, got back to my mat. I saw my therapist, my chiropractor, I slept, I ate, I read, journaled, I did whatever I wanted to just get back to "baseline," emotionally, if you will.
Throughout October I was able to see, in hindsight, how I reacted to such a scare, and it was almost comical. This yoga teacher that instructs others to meditate, breath, move, etc, for wellbeing was not doing that herself. It really opened my eyes to how, when under, real life, actual stress, I'm really bad at being a human. That doesn't mean I'm judging or shaming myself for anything but, now, stepping back from it and taking a birds eye view, I am going to address my reactions with a closer look and see how I can learn from it all.
WHICH MEANS....getting rid of social media for a hot minute or two. Starting yesterday I deleted the apps from my phone and will use my energy and time on much more meaningful things in my life. The week leading up to Irma, while evacuating at my grandma's, I was glued-to-my-phone. No exaggeration. And I couldn't discern what was worse, the anxiety i felt in my chest, tight tension, while looking at phone, or if I had to brush my teeth and put my phone down. WOWZA. It seemed as if time stood still, and I felt stuck and confused about what to do. It also triggered a hugeeee reaction in me, partly because, when I went through a pretty terrible breakup two years ago I clung to my phone as well for support and connection. So, I assume, thats what added to my physical tension and all over not feeling well, but still.
So many other things surfaced during Irma, but, I'm going to take it month by month. I started with the most obvious to me, social media, and will continue to address the layers one month at a time.
Natural Disasters from afar are very sad, but experiencing them first hand, goodness what a different array of feels. Love and hate the feels. Have you ever stepped back from Facebook, Instagram or Snap Chat? It's my second time, and I don't want to sound cliche, but I already feel a bit better, lighter. Also, I think I'll finally find some binds in my yoga practice because my wrist won't constantly be in use, haha! Almost the weekend, with a FULL MOON Saturday! Hope you're having a beautiful morning. Love you, LP.
