I remember in graduate school someone mentioned their dislike for the word, "normal," as we, future therapists, would be without a job! That has stuck with me and not necessarily for the sake of having clients, but more so my ability to be a bit more compassionate with myself. There is no such thing as normal, or status quo and the more we live as if there is the more struggle we'll find ourselves in. Obviously media and society coin trends, looks, body images, careers, etc with negative or positive connotation which propels our continued comparison and in turn fuels of self acceptance or lack there of, but this post is more so regarding the "normality,' of our schedule or day to day life.
The energy and vibe of Naples, FL and Collier County, to be kind, is weird, almost creepy. I say that with the most love and compassion I can. We ALL just went through a major trauma, and rose colored glasses or not, we are now dealing with the effects of said trauma. While most of us didn't lose our homes, some did. While most of us are back at work, some are not. And, while most of us, can fall back into routine, some are having difficulty.
So, how can we cope? How can we shift our belief that things will be "back in no time," and start to accept the new "norm?"
Well, to start. I've noticed hugging helps. At least for me, a real embrace, and physical touch brings a lifetime of comfort in about 3 seconds. Not a hugger, thats ok, place your own hands on your body. Yes, you can do this in private, but literally embrace yourself. The wrapping of your arms across your chest feels infinitely soothing.
Secondly, don't should on yourself. I created a whole post about this a while back, but it rings true even more so, now. Too tired to workout? Thats ok, rest. Too sad to smile? That's ok, don't! Too distracted to fake small talk? You guessed it, don't. Now is the time more than ever to tap into HUMANITY. To be a real, genuine human being WITH kindness and grace. Being 10000% honest with yourself and your feelings allows for those feelings to keep on moving through you. Next time a coworker approaches you, take a breath into your actual heart, the organ, feel it, and start to speak from that feeling. Make eye contact. There's connection there, and it's gonna feel new, but AWESOME.
Lastly, lets not rush through this. There is no finish line. There is no way we can replace a 50 year old tree, that was uprooted and destroyed by Irma, by tomorrow. Let's take another cue from Mama Nature that rebuilding, starting over, takes TIME. But, in this time we can learn. We get really honest, vulnerable and strong. Let's remind ourselves over and over again that there has not been one single thing that was rushed, that turned out well. At least I can't think of any.
We have a new normal. We are growing from this. There is no destination. Insert all the bumper sticker/meme quotes here because they APPLY now more than ever. Love you, LP.
