I recently read a quote, "a person's success can be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have," and while I'd interchange the word 'success', for 'freedom', this couldn't be more accurate. As humans, we get so very caught up in the stories that replay in our minds. The dialogue that is non-stop and more often irrational or untrue, gets the better of us more than we'd like to let on. The truth however, while not always what we want to hear, has the ability to cease the stories and allow us to move forward, past an event or experience that is holding us back, and often causing us more pain than the actual truth.
This past year I have had several uncomfortable conversations that required me to put my big girl pants on, but in turn, gave me the freedom I needed to stop living in the past and open my eyes and heart to new people, places, and things!
When I was home I was finally able to take one of Taryn Toomey's classes! More to come on her amazingness, but she constantly repeats and is known for her belief that we need to feel the feelings we don't want to feel in order to FREE THEM. She moves us into intentional discomfort (what we don't want to feel), in turn this experience reshapes us, helps us, allows us to see ourself going through it because it all eventually ends. Her classes keep you at your edge, so that when you finish a certain movement you feel the RUSH of energy that takes place. Everything ends, and while in the moment of discomfort it feels like it won't, it does. And you rest. And then you do it again, differently. Then that ends. Life, baby.
When it comes to speaking up for ourselves, the reason most of us don't is because we're afraid we won't hear what we want to hear. In my experience, two of the three big girl conversations I had to initiate I didn't hear what I wanted to hear, BUT I PROMISE, receiving the honest answers allowed the "what if's," and "maybe's," and other crazy stories to stop COMPLETELY. I felt tension around my shoulders and heart immediately soften, and I didn't even feel the need to linger or grieve because of the black and white of it. In both of these experiences I 100% should have grown a set and spoken up earlier, but live and learn.
My trip home was SO MUCH more fun and again, freeing, because I knew the truth in regards to certain situations. I was able to tap into the answers these individuals gave me, and make decisions based off reality rather than any over-thinking I used to get caught up in. My expectations were null because of this reality and in turn my experience was vastly different and pleasurable. A girl deserves pleasure. ;)
Freedom (from the fluctuations of the mind) feels so nice. My acupuncturist once told me, sometimes tension needs to be created for it to go away! Riddle me that. Having these difficult, tension creating, conversations are usually what's needed, but trust me when I say there is BEAUTY on the other side. Whether the news is what you want to hear or not, the information we are given, when honest, is GOLD. We often evade the stickiness of life to protect our feelings, or someone else's feelings, but doing so just leads to time wasted and exhaustion. #TRUSTme
Maybe it's age, or maybe just learning these subtle tools as they occur for me, but I'm never going to sit back when I'm questioning someone or something, I'm going to speak up, with grace and lots of BREATH. I hope the same for you. Love you, LP.
